So…My friend doesn’t ever want to do anything.
Okay, so here’s the thing.
I’m in London for a few months as part of my university deal. Well, I haven’t done anything yet because my friend/roommate doesn’t ever want to do anything.
Seriously.
She doesn’t.
There were four things I would have loved to have hung around after to potentially stage door or try something.
The first time was after seeing James Corden in One Man Two Gunvors—I wanted to stage door because the entire cast was absolutely fantastic. But she was tired so we didn’t.
The next time was after seeing She Stoops to Conquer. I wanted to stage door because Steven Pemberton was in it and I love him so much! But she said that she didn’t’ know where the stage door even was and it didn’t seem to make any sense.
And tonight. I went to see a potential pilot for a show in London and my favourite comedian, Jon Richardson, was there. I literally started shaking because he is that wonderful to me. I had his book with me and everything—crazy coincidence—because I didn’t know he was going to be there! But she said that there was no point because we didn’t know if anyone was still there.
The only time we did stay was after The Storytellers Club because John Finnemore was there. I told her that I was going to stay with or without her there—which is what I should have done every fucking time. She stayed and I introduced them and they chatted briefly.
It’s just frustrating because she doensn’t ever want to do anything. Seriously. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
If it was up to her, she would be perfectly content to just lie around all day and only leave for work and classes.
It drives me insane because I feel bad when I try and do something without her. I’m the only person she talks to here and I feel incredibly guilty whenever I try and do something without her. Like I’m abandoning her.
It’s stupid. We’re both grown-ups.
I think what has really made me angry tonight is the fact that I didn’t stay, even though I wanted to, and then she said that she knows that I don’t like doing things by myself.
Excuse me?
I went out alone to go and see Regent’s Park. I went to the archives by myself. I do a lot of things by myself. I have no problem going anywhere or doing anything by myself.
You do not even leave the room if I’m not here.
Friday, I had a few meetings to go to and then went to the National Theatre Archives to work on my research paper. She didn’t even leave the room. Then I was slightly ill all weekend and basically laid around and slept off and on. I did leave for a few hours on Saturday to head down to Camden Market, but then I just came back and slept some more.
She didn’t leave. It’s as though, if I’m not going, neither is she. I’m trying so hard to get her to just go and do her own thing if she wants. If she wants to take the tube while I take the bus, fine. If you want to take a tube and I want to walk, fine. I’m not going to be upset!
I’m not even angry. Just…severely disappointed.
It’s not like I’m some teenager who assumed that if Jon Richardson had seen me he would have fallen in love with me and we’d live happily ever after. And now that we didn’t meet I’m going to sink into a cataclysmic depression. I’m not a complete fool. I would have just loved to have been able to potentially get him to autograph his book, since I had it with me, and perhaps a photo.
If I’m honest, I’m more upset with myself than with her. But I’m incredibly disappointed with her lack of adventure.
Starting now, I’m not going to let that get in my way. If I want to do something, I cannot feel guilty when she is tired and doesn’t want to. I’m not going to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. But you know what, I am going to start doing what I want to do.
I have to. Or I’ll regret it more than I already do.
